On the peculiar nature of friendships

Friendships are odd… to this day my favorite friends are the ones I met in last two years of highschool. But why hasn’t it been the same with the friends I made after?

Not to say I haven’t had good friends which I met in uni or in bjj classes, it just isn’t the same. It happens sometimes that I don’t talk to some of my buddies in highschool for months (maybe years) but still when I do hang out with them it’s the same as it was in highschool. There’s something about sharing that highschool experience that makes it special I suppose. I think they feel the same way too…

My observation about friendships has been that they have a steady state. They start off strong, and the pair interact with each other frequently, but such a state is unsustainable. The conditions that made them friends in the first place - wether it be a class or maybe working on the same team - collapses and so does the state of their friendship; maybe the class ends or one of them moves to a different team. Now they enter a state of rapid regression, and ultimately their relationship morphs into a steady sustainable state. Arguably the true nature of their friendship is this new steady state.

My problem is that it seems as if the steady state of friendships started in highschool are of a different type to the ones formed after. It’s as if I know deep down that my highschool buddies will showup in my future and my other friends wont…

But it this bad?

I don’t think so, say I know a friend who I’ve excommunicated from my friendship (as holy as being my friend is) because we’ve drifted apart or there was a falling out. Am I to judge them for how things are now and not for all the good memories of have of them? Am not to enjoy the friendship of the friends I am close to know because our friendship will die out in the future?

Maybe it’s best to have a live in the present but remember the past approach here. I’ll try and enjoy the now with my present close friends and when they ultimalty fade, I’ll remember them for all the good they were and move on.